Ty Lee's Grand Scheme
by samtana
Summary: 10 steps for Ty Lee to get what she wants most.


I don't own Avatar

As you all should know

But someday I'll have a star

And a plot on Pluto.

**Ty Lee's Grand Scheme**

Ty Lee was a girl with a long ponytail

She smiled and showed her white teeth

Life was a cheer, always fun without fail

That was the blissful Ty Lee.

She was very attractive, the guys seemed to know

Her demeanor and good looks unmatched

They all flocked around her wherever she'd go

Thank goodness none had attached!

But there was this one that she knew right away

Was the best of those she'd ever meet

She'd think about nothing but him night and day

That was the loving Ty Lee

But one day it happened. Her heart sadly fell.

A thing that made all her hopes end

A girl from Kioshi had noticed his spell

And now she was more than a friend

And so Ty Lee cursed. And so Ty Lee cried.

It was something she'd prayed not to see

But the one guy she wanted she dumbly let slide

That was the foolish Ty Lee

The rag-tag invasion force, beaten with ease

Caused not a blink from Ty Lee

But one single thought of her manly man tease

Bought her to cry up a sea.

But then, deep inside the inner workings of her brain, Ty Lee had an idea.

A horrible, awful, brilliant idea.

Ty Lee ran home and drew up a list

Shaking and laughing with glee

Her foolproof plan to get herself kissed

That was the hopeful Ty Lee

Step one was a cinch, for which she thanked Mai

Angry and loving and pale

They fought with their mutual friend on that day

And together they wound up in jail

Step two was much harder, Ty Lee had to say

To find the made-up captive girls

The warden did not allow makeup, no way

But Ty Lee would find them for sure

Even this Ty Lee did not find a challenge

She had to ask all what they do

She used all the charm she could possibly manage

And so quickly ended step two

Being a friend was not a hard task

She performed quite well for step three

She bonded with them, with no questions asked

That was the cunning Ty Lee

Not in the plan, she added step four

To adjust as fast as she could

She'd be glad when she needed no more

Of that terrible prison-style food

Step five took some time, but Ty Lee could wait

She knew what the girls planned to do

After a long enough time to relate

They asked her to join in their group

Step six, of the steps, was the strangest of all

She talked to a large lion-turtle

Beforehand she'd worked on her animal calls

So she easily cleared the sixth hurdle

Step seven was boring: wait, wait, and wait

For the beast with her message to send

She worried that Aang got the message too late

But the Avatar won in the end

Step eight was a key, quite literally

Again, far from where she could see

The prisoners were slowly but surely set free

Including the joyous Ty Lee

As for step nine, that step went by fine

When Ty Lee had met up with _her_

She hit Suki's pressure points over her spine

And Ty Lee then dressed up as her

Then, only then, at long last, step ten!

Once she had secured Suki's place

Her guy asked if she had some free time to spend

Alone, in his room, face to face

Ty Lee giggled. Ty Lee gasped.

Her time was finally here!

She followed him in, not so out of her grasp

The goal of her plan was so near!

"Looky here, Suki, dear,"

He said as he flexed his biceps,

"There's something you won't like, but I think you should hear.

I've thought hard, and it's high time I left."

Ty Lee's jaw dropped, her heart broken up

So close, so close but so far…

"Is there somebody else? Am I not enough?"

She asked, her jaw still ajar

"Is it some girl you met on your journeys?"

She gasped. "Is it Ty Lee?"

The guy shook his head. "Hear me, Suki, please.

And no, it's not that circus freak.

"There's someone I love who is harsh in a way,

But I know that inside she is soft."

Ty Lee screamed, "Stop it! I know what you'll say!

I can see that you're in love with Toph!"

Ty Lee was a girl with a long ponytail

She used to smile wide with white teeth

Love was a test that she'd always fail

That was the lonely Ty Lee.

_Fine._

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Sorry about the sad ending. I don't really see a sad ending in store for Ty Lee, but then again I also don't see her obsessing over Sokka in this way. This was just fun (and exhausting) to write.

Response to, "Sokka would recognize it's not Suki! He does in the show!" 1) You're looking too much into this little poem. 2) Mozart operas do that sort of thing all the time, so it's perfectly valid. Actually Mozart usually goes farther, with cross-dressing and such.

Sokka: Wait, I meant to rhyme "soft" with "Yue." Oh, well. Toph will do.

Toph: Yay!

Suki: Mph! Mmmmph!

Ty Lee: Maybe I should untie her now.

Toph and Ty Lee: [_together_] Nah…

Suki: Mmmph!!! Mmph!!!!

Sokka: What rhymes with "Yue," anyway? "Glue?" No…

-samtana

P.S. Did you catch the thing about the Lion-Turtle? Let me know if that was a little unclear.

Sokka: I've got it! "Toothpaste!"


End file.
